T-Rex Twelve Hole Golf
Golf…and…dinosaurs, we hear you ask? Dinosaurs…and…golf, surely not!
Golf and dinosaurs: oh, come ON!
Whoa! Well, now, hold onto your horses just a bally minute there!
Although the world and his wife know full well that the modern version of golf originated in Scotland, everyone from the Romans, Chinese, Persians, English, French, and, heck, even the Dutch and Uncle Tom Cobley have piped up to claim they invented the original game.
Well, have we got news for that lot, or what?
In an incredible WORLD EXCLUSIVE, Tenby Dinosaur Park can reveal for the very first time that golf was first invented and played by…wait for it…dinosaurs, and later, wait for it again…by early Welsh Paleolithic man.
Not only that: it was played first in the Pembrokeshire area, actually ON the very site of our new revamped twelve-hole course!!
Yep, that’s right! Absolutely amazing isn’t it?
At the Dinosaur Park here, we’ve seen the conclusive top-secret archaeological evidence that proves it beyond all reasonable doubt, evidence that, unfortunately, for legal reasons we cannot show anyone else. Ever.
To this day golf is one of the few ball games that does not require a standardized playing area and that’s a tradition that stretches right back to the very first dinosaur golf when, for obvious reasons, the likes of your brachiosaurus, your tyrannosaurus and your velociraptor played the game on a huge scale, using upturned trees for clubs, skulls and boulders for balls, and both volcanoes and craters for holes on makeshift courses which covered vast tracts of land.
Needless to say, the manicured putting green we’ve come to know and love didn’t exist then, and while dinosaurs originally played over 22 holes this was later standardised over the whole of Pangaea to 12 holes mainly in an attempt to lessen the inevitable cheating and fighting, bloodshed and death that marred so many of the early competitions, like the Tectonic Twenty Two-Hole Masters and the biggest dinosaur golf tournament of them all, the coveted Pangaea Open.
This is why we’ve deliberately made our all-new improved course, a 12-hole course (rather than 9 or 18) to celebrate not only the authentic dinosaur golf tradition and the 66 millionth anniversary of the last ever Pangaea Open (abandoned due to bad weather), but also the fact that ancient Palaeolithic ancestors of Rory McIlroy and Tiger Woods are reported to have also played on this very site over 25,000 years ago.
So, expert or beginner, while being watched by our current batch of always-hungry dinosaurs can you hold your nerve on our challenging and historic T-Rex Twelve Hole course?
And, just as a suggestion, after you’ve played, have you got the brass neck to go and see all those silly local Pembrokeshire historians (who are always gassing on about the Flemings this, the Vikings that, the Normans this, Henry VII that; oh yes, and, of course, did you know Lord Nelson and Lady Hamilton once visited Milford Haven, blah, blah, blah) and tell ‘em all about the amazing discoveries Tenby Dinosaur Park have made about ancient dinosaur golf, you know, proper history, not all that flapdoodle they’re forever banging on about?
Just don’t get carried away and repeat what some nincompoops have been saying lately: that dinosaurs played golf against aliens, which is, of course, absolutely ridiculous, far fetched and just plain silly.
So there you have it: Tenby Dinosaur Park’s T-Rex Twelve Hole Golf (try saying that after 3 bottles of Fanta), bringing golf and dinosaurs together once again, on the very spot where it all began, all those millions of years ago.
Ahhh! Warms the very cockle of your heart, doesn’t it?